Stressed

I want to let this feeling out. I'm very very helpless. I tried to think of a person to tell. but i can't. if i tell, i'll probably cry and cry as i can't control. I just can't bare not to cry.
I'm just really dissapointed and I hate myself. I dislike myself. I just wanna punch myself and kill myself. but i can't. can i just cry for a minute, and the stress, the dissapointment, the sad feelings, bad feelings go away? I wish I could do so, then i could just stay and the toilet and cry out loud. cry as much as i want. but i can't.
the three things letting me hav bad feelings:
-my piano exam results. I'm so scared. and dissapointed. i've given out almost my whole life on practising. I wanna die. what's happening? I just wanna kill myself. I dunno how to face my parents and my piano teacher. I can't face myself!!! I want somebody to talk to..but i can't. nobody wants to hear me. And I can't tell anyone coz if I tell, I'll cry immediately. even though i'm tyipng now, i'm crying a bit. I'm scared. I don't want to hav this feeling until i get back my results. and if my results is reali that bad. I'll hav this feeling for my rest of my life. I don't want. I don't want to get ther results for ever and ever!
-my mp4 is broken. the only way to get away my stress and bad feelings. i dunno what's happening to me. I don't wanna hurt anyone. but i can't control. i wanna cry right now and go to the toilet but ron is inside and i hav to control myself. I'm so tired. it's so difficult.
-well, this is just a minor problem. There're many things for me to revise and to study that and study this. well, i'm a student so it's okay to study these.
but i just can't stand the two extra stress. I can't stand for a long time. I'm not happy even though there's a holiday tmr. it's not normal. I know it's bad to keep the feelings deep deep in my heart. but i cant talk to anyone. since i just start the first word, i just think of the people around me, they want me to get a good result they're good to me. they're nic eto me. but i'm just thinking why i'm this bad? o shit. i just wanna go to the toilet and now, my maid went inside. SHIT!