Chinese test....

reali bad at chinese.....dun hav time to finish the entire test..it's just 1hr for lots of things u know...will surely be "dead" on mon when the tests are given out..

It's much more better now..life became sorta easier. though i still have those stressed-feelings, i'm better now..well..my results in tests are like worse...than i was in P.5...but it's acceptable..there's not many time for me to revise. i hope that we could buy time with money. i'll buy a day for sure if i could. listening listening to music, i felt better. gotta revise this dreadful chinese test. i hate chinese...it's reali hard and there're many things to memorise..those words are hard to write and pronounce and they're difficult to understand the meaning. the hardest subject of all. on friday. and i still haven't touched it. i know i'm sorta lazy but i reali can't help it. good luck to myself....

Stressed

I want to let this feeling out. I'm very very helpless. I tried to think of a person to tell. but i can't. if i tell, i'll probably cry and cry as i can't control. I just can't bare not to cry.
I'm just really dissapointed and I hate myself. I dislike myself. I just wanna punch myself and kill myself. but i can't. can i just cry for a minute, and the stress, the dissapointment, the sad feelings, bad feelings go away? I wish I could do so, then i could just stay and the toilet and cry out loud. cry as much as i want. but i can't.
the three things letting me hav bad feelings:
-my piano exam results. I'm so scared. and dissapointed. i've given out almost my whole life on practising. I wanna die. what's happening? I just wanna kill myself. I dunno how to face my parents and my piano teacher. I can't face myself!!! I want somebody to talk to..but i can't. nobody wants to hear me. And I can't tell anyone coz if I tell, I'll cry immediately. even though i'm tyipng now, i'm crying a bit. I'm scared. I don't want to hav this feeling until i get back my results. and if my results is reali that bad. I'll hav this feeling for my rest of my life. I don't want. I don't want to get ther results for ever and ever!
-my mp4 is broken. the only way to get away my stress and bad feelings. i dunno what's happening to me. I don't wanna hurt anyone. but i can't control. i wanna cry right now and go to the toilet but ron is inside and i hav to control myself. I'm so tired. it's so difficult.
-well, this is just a minor problem. There're many things for me to revise and to study that and study this. well, i'm a student so it's okay to study these.
but i just can't stand the two extra stress. I can't stand for a long time. I'm not happy even though there's a holiday tmr. it's not normal. I know it's bad to keep the feelings deep deep in my heart. but i cant talk to anyone. since i just start the first word, i just think of the people around me, they want me to get a good result they're good to me. they're nic eto me. but i'm just thinking why i'm this bad? o shit. i just wanna go to the toilet and now, my maid went inside. SHIT!

Piano Exam

This is my hope. But i'm stressed. What if I played a few notes wrong?
Tomorrow, I'm going to have my piano exam. I'm sososososo scared..i wanna get my exam finished, but i'm so scared to do this exam..
well, i hav a holiday on 9.10 as a reward after my stress... i hope, i reali hope that i can relax and get a distinction and i must do well in my scales..i always come up with questions.but i try not to think about them. I try not to think about things that let me more stress. i try to relax. RELAX!!!!
k, good luck ,rachel, you'll do it.

You're Driving Me Crazy

My piano exam, my MP4, my piano teacher, my school, my class, my homework!, my everything!!! They're all driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna stop everything and I just wanna hear songs I like to relax a bit. I can't. Came home from my piano lesson, tired. I happily tried to turn on my MP4 hoping that i can relax with hearing my favourite songs. I CAN'T. It's so expensive but it's just a broken Mp4. i can't turn it on!!! why? why it's broken at this time but not later and earlier? Everything is going to make me insane. I wanna stop. just wanna go back but i can't.
I hope my Mp4 can turn back to normal. I hope that everything can turn back to normal just in a second. can't it?
It's my all.Yes, i know i've been so mean to you before sometimes. but can i just say sorry to you? so that you can turn back to normal? and I promise i wont be mean to you forever and ever and ever. I'll use you instead of the computer. Please, wake up. I'm waiting for you.